Why Privacy Feels Impossible (And What to Do Instead)

Privacy can feel overwhelming, especially if you're new. After years of not caring about your data and carrying around unhelpful ideas like "I have nothing to hide," thoughts about cleaning up the damage and the changes you'll have to make can feel daunting. Facing down a journey of a thousand miles toward the elusive "perfect privacy," I've seen many decide to drop out entirely, exhausted after constantly moving goalposts and unrealistic targets.

But here's the good news: you don't have to become a casualty of the endless quest for perfect privacy because there's no such thing.

Privacy Is Not Binary

In the privacy community, it's not unusual to see some very hardline opinions, such as "if you're not using a Graphene phone, then changing the apps or settings doesn't matter" or "encrypted email is completely useless because the other party probably isn't using it, so the emails are still exposed on their end."

Of course, such black-and-white thinking is a lot like deciding that since you can't stop a potential burglar from breaking your windows, shutting and locking your doors is pointless.

The truth is that privacy is a spectrum. Very few privacy choices are "yes or no," but rather more like "good, better, best." For example:

• Good: Revoking all of the Facebook phone app's permissions such as location data, photo access, and more.
• Better: Removing the Facebook phone app and using it in the browser instead.
• Best: Deleting Facebook entirely

There is no such thing as "perfectly private," just as "unhackable" is also a myth. Famously, Ted Kaczynski lived "off grid" in a literal cabin in the woods with no electricity or running water, and yet the FBI was still eventually able to track him down. Anyone who tries to tell you that you're not doing enough is probably throwing stones in a glass house. You have a better shot at finding Bigfoot or an honest politician.

You Need A Threat Model

That said, there may be times when you're not doing enough. How do you know? Nobody can say except for you. In the privacy space, we call this a "threat model." It basically comes down to five questions:

1. What do I want to protect?
2. Who do I want to protect it from?
3. How likely is it that I will need to protect it?
4. How bad are the consequences if I fail?
5. How much trouble am I willing to go through to prevent these consequences?

The good news is that you're already familiar with this framework. You've been doing it for years. Some industries call it a risk assessment, a hazard analysis, or any number of other names, but "a rose by any other name is still a rose." Consider getting in the car to to go the store and how you might apply a threat model to that scenario:

1. What do I want to protect? Myself (and other passengers, if any).
2. Who do I want to protect it from? Any sort of collision.
3. How likely is it that I will need to protect it? Potentially high. Even if the weather is perfect and the car is brand new, you can't account for other drivers.
4. How bad are the consequences if I fail? Potentially lethal.
5. How much trouble am I willing to go through to prevent these consequences? Some may decide they're willing to pay for delivery, while others may opt for risk mitigation by fastening seatbelts, investing in cars with good safety features, and ensuring they're not distracted while driving.

A threat model tells you where the finish line is in your privacy journey. If you're taking steps to properly address, mitigate, or eliminate the threats in your life to an acceptable degree, then congratulations! You're doing enough even if it's not as much as the people around you are doing. First class and economy both arrive at the same time.

Overachieving

So if you make a threat model and realize you're doing more than necessary, is that bad? Not as long as you're doing so willingly and without negative repercussions.

What are negative repercussions? We can once again use Facebook as an example, looking to many privacy enthusiasts who leave and often report things like:

• Constantly missing out on event invites
• Losing connection with long-distance family members
• Losing access to Marketplace or Groups

In these cases, a threat model serves the reverse purpose of its typical function: it lets you know if it's safe to pull back to the finish line when you've long passed it. For example, the "better" Facebook treatment mentioned earlier - checking through the browser once or twice a day in an intentional way - is potentially a sweet spot: it offers significantly better privacy than the app while still allowing you to stay connected with friends and family. (Bonus points if you exercise intentional, "digital minimalist" behaviors around your usage of Facebook such as only checking once or twice a day and never or rarely posting.)

Still, I would encourage most people to go as far beyond the finish line as they're able. I know many people who deleted Facebook years ago or never had one at all and they're quite happy - myself included. I am fortunate to have friends and family who support my privacy-focused lifestyle by sending me important news, photos, or videos and inviting me to things directly.

As long as your privacy goals aren't causing you to miss out on connection, life experiences, or advancing toward your other life goals, I think it's a worthy effort to do as much as you can. If you're one of those people who never craves junk food and thus usually stays at a healthy weight with little effort, I doubt any doctor would tell you that it's a bad idea to start doing some light cardio or weight lifting a few times a week anyways.

What Next?

Once you ditch the online gatekeepers saying that their way is the only true way, you can start to decide what your own privacy needs look like and where along the spectrum you want to fall. Because there is no single perfect privacy posture, there are a variety of different privacy tools, each with their own unique use cases and features. If you need help deciding which ones are best for your use case, be sure to check out The New Oil for the latest advice and recommendations.